Think of You

I listened to the song again, the "Think of You". It reminds me of you every time I listened to this song. The part when it said "...It's a bad night to be alone. But that's the way it goes... And I think of you whenever life gets me down I think of you whenever you're not around... I thought I had it figured out in a brand new life, with a great big house, and green initials on the towels, I should be happy now. Well, you got yourself a family. And you planted roots down by the sea... Just to put your mind at ease, you don't owe me anything, you paid me well in memories" I laid my head on my pillow and let the song repeated itself over and over again. And I am sorry to say that, I think of you and I miss you. And I am sorry.

It's funny how life could change so fast and we never meet anymore. We used to be so happy together, and I even thought that it could get better and even last forever. I used to think that we liked each other, and that you were my destiny. I guess life changed and both of us had different destination which we both had to move to different city... As for you was a different country.

I cried on that one night when I knew that we had to be apart and I still had no chance to tell you how much I felt for you. And I always thought that it was okay because I believed that you knew it even I did not tell you anything. I guess you can say that it was a woman's instinct that told me that we would meet again one day no matter how far we would be apart. But boy, was I wrong?

I saw your pictures from your new life in the new city. But I never heard from you anymore. I knew what you did and who you met, and it was all from friends around us. What went wrong between two of us? I never could figure it out. Toward the end, I just assumed that everything was just my imagination. And imagination is always good in the memory, you know? But it was never real. I guess.

Your smile still very clear in my memory. Our last hugs still fresh in my memory, like I still could smell the sea from your chest. You shook my head and called my "silly"... I thought.. I really thought that it would never end. But I guess I was wrong.

I'd been waiting too long. Way too long. I started giving up hopes and falling. And worrying nobody would catch me like how you did when I fell. Nobody would wipe off my tears when I had nightmare in my sleep, and nobody would carry me to bed when I fell asleep on the couch. I miss you. So much. Especially when the life gets me down. I started thinking if I did the right decision to give you up so easily.

You must have blamed me for not waiting long enough. Yes, and you could. I am sorry that I lost my patience and I lost hope in us. Or maybe it was just all my imagination that everything between us was just simply a friendship. And you were just one of my very best friend? I am getting so confused toward the end. But I still miss you a lot when I hit the rock of my life.

I could not tell you if I am happier now. It just my downside when I think of you. Everything will be over and I might forget to think of you again one day. Or maybe one day we might meet on the street and you would still give me the hugs that I used to remember. Or maybe one day, your hugs would remind you how happy we were when we were together. But what is the point? I just miss you. That's all.

I think of you.





想你，不是一种习惯
只是一种忘记目前伤痛的自疗方式
我会好好的